Why Stopping a Habit Often Just Creates a New One

You know that feeling when you try to stop a habit, then realize another one quietly took its place?

You decide to watch less Netflix.
Suddenly you’re scrolling social media more.

You commit to eating healthier.
You notice you’re drinking a little more at night.

You tell yourself you’re done buying things on Amazon.
A week later, you’re scrolling Shein or Temu instead.

When this happens, some people assume they failed.
Or that they lack discipline and self-control.
Or that something must be wrong with them.

But that’s not what’s happening.

What’s actually happening is simply dopamine whack-a-mole.

Habit swapping is not a failure

When we try to stop a behavior without addressing why we’re doing it, our brain simply looks for the next easiest option.

This happens because many habits are not really about the habit itself.
They’re about what’s underneath. They are about relief.

Relief from stress.
Relief from overwhelm.
Relief from boredom.
Relief from emotional weight we’ve been carrying for a long time.

We train our brains, often unintentionally, to reach for fast dopamine when life feels heavy. Streaming, scrolling, shopping, snacking, drinking. These work quickly and reliably. They give us a brief sense of control, distraction, or comfort. (The keyword here being “brief”)

So when we block one outlet, the brain does not suddenly stop needing relief.
It just finds a new convenient source.

That’s why systems, restrictions, and blockers can help.
But why they often don’t last on their own.

They solve for the symptom, not the root cause.

What’s really going on underneath

Most easy dopamine habits exist for a reason.

Sometimes something in your life feels overwhelming.
Sometimes you’ve been holding it together for too long.
Sometimes you feel out of control of your life and the clutter around you.
Sometimes you just need your mind to shut off for a bit so you can tune out the noise.

None of that means you’re broken.

It means you’re human.

The problem is that easy dopamine only works temporarily.
The stressor does not disappear.
The heavy thing does not resolve itself with another episode of your favorite show or that new pair of shoes. (Weird right?)

If anything, it comes back louder and heavier than before.

What if instead of covering the problem, you solved for it

Instead of asking,
“How do I stop this habit?”

What if the better question was,
“What is this habit helping me cope with?”

Imagine if instead of acting on impulse, you had:

• a way to release stress before it builds to the breaking point?

• tools to handle difficult emotions without numbing or escaping?

• intentional moments of rest, control, and care built into your day so you’re not pouring from an empty cup?

When the root cause is addressed, the habit often softens on its own.

Not because you forced it away with willpower.
But because it’s no longer needed in the same way.

How do you unplug the machine?

Real change does not come from tighter rules.
It comes from understanding what your behavior is doing for you.

Once you understand that, you can build systems that support you instead of fight you.

This is especially true with money.

Impulse spending is rarely about the item.
It’s about relief, identity, or escape.

When you solve for the emotional driver underneath, the behavior starts to change in a way that actually lasts.

If this feels familiar, this is exactly what I help with

If you’ve noticed yourself swapping one habit for another, you’re not failing. You’re responding to stress, overload, and emotional weight in the most human way possible.

This is the work I do with my clients.

I help people slow down these patterns, understand what their habits are really doing for them, and build practical systems that support them when life feels heavy. Not just when motivation is high, but on the tired and stressful days too.

Especially with money, this matters.
Impulse spending isn’t about the purchase. It’s about relief, control, or escape. When we address the emotional driver underneath, the behavior starts to change in a way that actually lasts.

If you’re tired of fighting habits and want support that feels human, practical, and judgment free, I’d love to help.

Your next step
Reach out to schedule a conversation. We’ll talk through what’s been coming up for you, what you want to change, and whether working together makes sense for where you are right now.

Just a clear, supportive conversation about what’s possible.

-Seth