Why Money Seems to Disappear the Moment You Get Ahead
Have you ever noticed that no matter how much progress you make—getting a raise, paying off a credit card, finally sticking to your budget—you somehow end up right back where you started?
Maybe you save up $1,000... and then your car breaks down.
Maybe you earn more than ever... but still feel broke.
Maybe you make a plan to get ahead... and then “life happens.”
This isn’t just bad luck or poor planning—it might be your money thermostat.
What’s a Money Thermostat?
The idea of a money thermostat comes from The Big Leap by Gay Hendricks. Just like a thermostat regulates the temperature in your house, your internal thermostat regulates how much success, love, happiness, and of course, money you’re comfortable with.
You might think you’re aiming for more financially, but if your internal setting is stuck at “just getting by,” you’ll unconsciously make decisions that pull you right back to your comfort zone. That can look like overspending, undercharging, avoiding opportunities, or ignoring important financial tasks.
Why Even a Car Breaking Down Can Be an Upper Limit Problem
Sometimes, when people hear about the “money thermostat,” they think it’s about the universe testing them or fate working against them. That’s not what this is.
Here’s what could really be going on:
When you’re operating at the edge of your current comfort zone, your sneaky subconscious tries to pull you back to what feels familiar. If your thermostat is set to “just getting by,” then suddenly having more money than usual can feel unsafe or unfamiliar.
That discomfort can influence your decisions in subtle ways:
You might put off a $50 repair until it becomes a $500 problem.
You might skip maintenance because “it’s fine for now.”
You might avoid setting aside part of a windfall for emergencies.
Sometimes, of course, cars just break down—life happens. But if you notice a pattern of financial setbacks right after you get ahead, it’s worth asking whether habits, delays, or oversights are making those setbacks more likely. The end result? The extra money disappears, and you’re back to the level your thermostat is set for.
Signs Your Money Thermostat Might Be Set Too Low
You feel uneasy or anxious when your bank account has more money than usual. That “money burning a hole in your pocket” feeling.
You make a big financial win… and immediately “balance it out” with spending.
You struggle to hold on to money, even when you’re earning more.
You feel uncomfortable charging what you’re worth or asking for a raise.
You always find a way to “even out”—no matter how far ahead you get.
How to Raise Your Financial Thermostat
1. Identify Your Upper Limit Beliefs
Ask yourself:
What do I believe about people who have a lot of money?
What was modeled for me growing up about wealth or success?
When I start to do well financially, what emotions come up?
Awareness is the first step to changing your setting.
2. Interrupt the Pattern
Start noticing when you’re about to “self-sabotage” — like splurging after a money win, ignoring a bill, or putting off an important task.
Pause and ask:
“Is this decision aligned with the future I want, or is it trying to keep me in the comfort zone I’ve always known?”
3. Practice Expanding Your Capacity
Raising your thermostat doesn’t just mean earning more once—it means feeling safe with more. Try this:
Keep a small financial win in your account without touching it. Get used to seeing and holding it.
Raise your “zero” - Decide that you’ll always keep a minimum balance (like $1,000 or $10,000) and treat anything below that as “empty.”
Celebrate staying within your budget instead of rewarding yourself by breaking it.
4. Get Support
It’s hard to raise your thermostat alone—especially if emotional spending, guilt, or scarcity are part of your story. Coaching can help you see your thinking patterns clearly and make lasting change that aligns with the life you really want.
Ready to Raise Your Money Thermostat?
If you’re tired of getting ahead only to fall back again, you’re not broken—and you’re not alone. This is exactly the kind of mindset work I support my clients with inside financial coaching.
Let’s recalibrate your thermostat, so “getting ahead” becomes your new normal.